I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
