i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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