i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
