I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
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