Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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