We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
