He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Randomize
