I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
