The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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