I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
