Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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