I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
