Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Are my feet made of real feet?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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