I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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