i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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