I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize
