I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
