I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
