love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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