I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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