A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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