you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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