When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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