I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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