ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
