that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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