Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
