yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
