Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
