I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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