she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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