Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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