In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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