out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
So squirting runs in the family.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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