i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
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