I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
