oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Randomize
