My girlfriend figured out who you are.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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