There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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