Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I just want nice things and good sex
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
