Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
