You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
