he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
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