TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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