I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I party with great urgency now.
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