I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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