Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
