dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
