I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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