i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
