Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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