My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
