now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
