I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
